Grave and urgent news from our President

I have to announce today some grave and urgent news about the club's finances.

I am informed by our own economic simpleton Wayne, that expenditure is greater than revenue.

Revenues are down, as apparently Wayne budgeted on us having a lotto win, twice, finding money down the back of the old change rooms and forecast our members would pay double fees. So it didn't happen - not his fault of course and certainly not mine.

Comrades this all tells us that revenue is down.

Like you I have no idea what this means, nor what to do, but I think you should all know this grave and urgent news.

The good news comrades is the spending will continue, as well all know others will pay.

 

Another weekend rout but 'We are on track' says Julia.

“We are on track to achieve what has never been achieved. We have the determination of seasoned soldiers, not the enthusiasm of raw recruits”, President Julia addressed teams at the clubrooms last night as WWSLBC remained winless on the bottom of the ladder after yet another weekend rout.

WWSLBC committeemen and women nodded furiously in agreement while drinking the champagne Julia provides them free of charge.

“It’s not about results. It’s about driving our socialist agenda no matter what it means for the club. We aren’t here to govern for the members, it’s about self interest,” Treasurer Wayne slurred as he downed another Dom Perignon.

	CCBC	Wins	Losses	%
1	Terrigal Capitalists	16	1	94%
2	Gosford Commercial	15	2	88%
3	Avoca Beach retirees	15	2	88%
4	Erina Bias	12	5	71%
5	Tuggerah Greens	11	6	65%
6	Wyong RSL	11	6	65%
7	Lisarow Lesbians	10	7	59%
8	West Gosford Warriors	10	7	59%
9	Bateau Bay Bogans	8	9	47%
10	Woy Woy Socialists	0	17	0%

Julia Junior Socialist Bowling Academy proposed

WWSLBC President Julia has announced that WWSLBC will give $10 for every $9.50 other clubs give to support the establishment of the Julia Junior Socialist Bowling Academy. The Academy run by prominent local trade unionists with little bowling experience and poor coaching skills, seeks to provide the opportunity for more Trade Unionists to gain coaching roles and providing babysitting for Junior socialist bowlers in the region.

"It's up to the other clubs to support my dream. If they don't stump up the money then the only conclusion I can draw is they don't care about developing junior bowling in the region", Julia said.

When asked where Julia was finding the WWSLBC Julia Junior Socialist Bowling Academy funding given the club was now broke, Julia indicated others would have to pay. "True Socialists rarely consider the cost of our projects, its the political benefit we gain from them with our supporter base that really counts. It's not up to us to pay, as alwes, the fabulously weathly should pay" she declared.

 

Off to China Comrades, don't worry someone else is paying

I alwes love visiting China. Chairman Mao was a pin up of mine in the early 70’s.

My China visit this time is to see our friends at our sister club, the Peking Communist Working Families Bowls Club, visit local dignitaries and officials to raise funds for our club and buy more club tunics.

I am looking forward to sitting down and having a good old chat with like minded people over the next few days and most of all enjoying a few serves of Sweet & Sour Pork after we visit my favourite Kantong sauce factory.
 

I'd rather be Working people than Fabulously wealthy

As your Comrade President I often ponder the world we live in, looking for ways to spin our socialist agenda and help drive the wedge between us socialists and the non socialists of Woy Woy.

I am living proof than envy helps fuel the socialist fire.

We socialists tend to blame everything on those who have the things we crave. Our lack of success early in life has driven us into the socialist camp and therefore we must now oppose those with the trappings of their success due to our strong socialist beliefs, effectively rationalising our envy.

I can categorically state that there is no clear evidence that any link exists between the fabulously wealthy and working people. You cannot possibly work and be fabulously wealthy.

Having established this fact it is therefore easy to strip the lazy fabulously wealthy of all we can, based on the fact they never worked for anything in the first place.

I therefore decree that the Woy Woy Socialists will seek to present a motion at the next CCBC meeting seeking that the Terrigal Capitalists, The Gosford Commercial Enterprise Club and the Avoca Beach Retirees immediately pass on their ill gotten wealth to the Woy Woy Socialists so we can continue our indifference to obtaining wealth via working.

Comrade Julia

Wayne's tough new budget for the club almost complete

Last year’s budget was probably slightly optimistic in hindsight. I estimated we’d raise $1.3 million in revenue to cover our $2.6 million of expenditure. Unfortunately through no fault of mine, we only raised $2,600.

I’d like to thank our diligent committee who had the courage to keep spending on our important programs knowing that revenue was not coming in as planned.

As President Julia has announced, others will pay for our overspends.

Important programs for 2013-14 include the continuation of our overpayment of greens keeping staff wages and further reduction of their hours to levels where we can announce we’ll now need to employee 2 more people to do the green keeping. We will give free bowling, drinks and meals to Trade union members and the Committee and Friends club again offers a range of benefits not available to those who choose to work and earn legitimate incomes.

While I expect revenues to be at similar levels to last year I am again budgeting another bumper year with $1.3 million in revenue for the club. 

Wayne