As of today I announce our club will abandon any fundamental principles and beliefs and will be presided over by former president Kevin.
Kevin will run the club for all people and stand for nothing.
"Our number one measurement of success is how popular we can become", said an emotional Kevin taking over the Presidency tonight.
"The people have wanted me for 3 years and I'm back. The ugly sister was voted Miss World by the corrupt judges, now the most gorgeous girl from the bikini contest has finally been awarded Miss World. Justice has been done."
The Woy Woy Socialists compete in Central Coast Bowls Council. Woy Woy Socialists only ever pennant was achieved in 2007. A change of President has seen a once proud club return to its Socialist roots at the bottom of the CCBC league table.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
President happy with poor results – ‘We remain on track’
President Julia has told our Comrades that we remain on track
despite another crushing result for the team on the weekend. We remain winless
clear on the bottom of the ladder with the League now threatening to disband our club.
President Julia said the scoreboard remains a poor barometer for
our performance. In any competition winning is not the socialist way. We have
made great reforms and spent lots of member’s money to enable us to remain winless.
I see no reason to change – I will continue to do what I’ve
been doing and will not hand over to horrible women hating men in white shoes
and with wrinkly penises.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
WWLBC President launches attack on those who would challenge her
President Julia spoke to Woy Woy’s “Lawn Bowlers with Vagina’s
for Julia” fundraising group last night in the clubrooms.
Surrounded by her adoring sisterhood President Julia attacked
men who would seek to be elected President of the Club.
“If a man takes over this club then it will spell doom for
all women. Men with white shoes and wrinkly penises will ban women from the
club. They will stop women driving cars and being educated. They will force
them die their hair, wear makeup and ear rings and lovely tailored suits and
make them have elocution lessons if they speak like bogans. If a man gets
elected by the members then it cannot be a democratic process” she warned
the sisterhood.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Club elections September 14th - do not be deceived!
Elections for your new committee will take place on September
14th.
I plan to spend significant amounts of club member’s money on convincing you that my team has done an outstanding job running this club.
Wayne and I believe you can’t measure a sporting club by its on field record, success is determined by other factors. Your committee has done a great job in spending enormous amounts of money on a range of self interested initiatives – it takes courage to spend money you don’t have! I’ve been called tough, I’ve made numerous tough calls to spend when common sense and our bank manager said “No”.
Ignore former President Kevin, he may be far more popular than me, he may have a stronger vision for WWSLBC and may have had more success than me – but frankly that’s no reason to vote for him.
Do not vote for the anti socialists within our club. They will have us living within our means very quickly. They will make sure we pay our bills and offer us a strong future – again this is no reason to vote for them.
I plan to spend significant amounts of club member’s money on convincing you that my team has done an outstanding job running this club.
Wayne and I believe you can’t measure a sporting club by its on field record, success is determined by other factors. Your committee has done a great job in spending enormous amounts of money on a range of self interested initiatives – it takes courage to spend money you don’t have! I’ve been called tough, I’ve made numerous tough calls to spend when common sense and our bank manager said “No”.
Ignore former President Kevin, he may be far more popular than me, he may have a stronger vision for WWSLBC and may have had more success than me – but frankly that’s no reason to vote for him.
Do not vote for the anti socialists within our club. They will have us living within our means very quickly. They will make sure we pay our bills and offer us a strong future – again this is no reason to vote for them.
Julia
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